Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
