I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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