You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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