we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
