walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize