Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
where am i from again
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
