Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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