I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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