worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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