we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Randomize
