normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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