Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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