I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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