It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
