i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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