that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Can vaginas get frostbite?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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