Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
