this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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