I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
