after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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