So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
