Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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