Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
that is very illegal...i love you.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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