I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
