maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
