so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
