why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize