i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
