After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
