i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
