Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
All I want is dick and wine.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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