so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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