he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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