Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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