OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
