haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
