do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
