Betty ford says i'm here all night
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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