so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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