sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
