It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
