He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No subtext here. People are naked.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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