Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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