Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
This show inspires me to have sex in space
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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