you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
