You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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