You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
