i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
