matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I think my fart just growled at me.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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