with your own penis?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize