there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I cut my penus on the lid.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
