just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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