We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize