i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
