you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I still have a little drunk in my system
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize