If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
