I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
