Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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