you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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