Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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