Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize