I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
