is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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