dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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