I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
