if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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