The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
