Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We talked him into tasing himself.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
