she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
