What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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