apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
