I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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