and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
