1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So many bounce houses so little time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
3pm strippers are depressing
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
