so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
