Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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