I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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