I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize